Before my mom's death i was never okay with her relationship with my father
she was toughly kind
she gave us everything she could to make us happy
but dad never appreciate what she done for us
till the day she passed away
and i held the grudge for that
my mom was my favorite person in the whole world
i can't ever blame any1 for her death
she kept her anger inside till she exploded
i lost her
my dad too
he lost her
i was never in a good phase with him not before not now
and i think
not ever
maybe he sees my mom in me
maybe his too sad to deal with me
we always had something to fight about
we're so good at fighting
money rondom stuff
money
money
money ...
since i moved out now
and i'm all good
i'm okay with missing him and check on him daily
but never okay to live with him again
i'm pain in his ass i guess
i never meant to make him sad
i wish i can see him a happy man
whether with some woman or by himself
i can't ever feel his love
my mom's love
is more than enough
i'm carring it in my heart till the day i join her